Evergreen

“This scenery is evergreen
It sorrows at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears

The bells have rung the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbye
This scenery is evergreen
You’ve always been so dear to me”

~Evergreen (English Ensemble) – Hyde~

It’s hard to believe that it has been a week already.Β For the second consecutive year, I just lost a dear, loved one due to cancer.

Until now everything about them is still vivid in my memories. I can still hear their crisp, loud laughs, I can still picture them in their most unflattering and glorious moments, I go to sleep at night, thinking that I’d get to see them the following day and it will still feel like that nothing has changed.

They’re so alive in my memories that it’s actually difficult to absorb that they’re gone.

I’m sorry. I just suck at goodbyes. When I was looking at at the lifeless body of one of the women who raised me, I couldn’t open my mouth. I couldn’t even cry my heart out. Because I knew that I would break. Because it meant goodbye. Because I was still set on believing that I’d get to see her again when I visit her on the following week.

Ugh. I hate goodbyes.

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