I shouldn’t be writing right now, since in four hours I have to get up to get ready for school. But I am.

Here’s one of my issues in life: I have a terrible sleeping problem. As soon as I lie down, it takes me about 45 minutes or more to be able to fall asleep. And just when I am about to close my eyes, my alarm clock rings like hell. That happens all the time. That is why I easily get angry whenever someone wakes me up, especially for a not-so-important reason. Because it takes a lifetime for me to be able to sleep.

Insomnia isn’t the only thing that’s causing me discomfort and problem when trying to sleep. Another issue is my over-active bladder. I don’t know what’s wrong with my excretory system, but it’s been so irritating for the past 20 years of my life when it makes me go to the bathroom for like every 15 minutes. And the worst part of it all is that it becomes too active at night, making me stand up to take a trip towards the bathroom more than ten times until I fall asleep. THAT IS NOT NICE.

Lastly, skin allergies. I inherited this from both sides of my family. I’m allergic to a lot of things – crabs, native chicken, eggs (but I got over this, thankfully), cold temperature, dust, grass, etc. Having said that, naturally, I feel itchy all the time. Red marks appear on my skin and I find myself almost bathing myself with alcohol for every two to five minutes because of it.

So there. I’m saying this now because  just like any other nights, I’m restless. I can’t even sleep a wink. I retired to bed at 10:30 pm in hopes of being able to sleep for at least 7 hours. But look at me now, it’s 1:09 am and I’m here blabbing about my sleeping problem, which is utterly irritating.

Where are those sleeping pills and anti-allergy meds when I need them the most?

Tonight I just finished reading “My Sister’s Keeper,” which like all the other books I’ve read, had me bawling my eyes out. Then I asked myself what is it with media that can trigger my tear glands?

You will hardly ever see me cry, unless you were a part of my elementary and early high school days, unless you are with me when I watch some tear-jerking live performance, or unless you have met the Lara whose heart still wasn’t at least half-frozen. Having said that, I just wonder why my tears become shallow whenever I read a novel or a fanfiction, play a role-playing game, listen to music, or merely watch a movie or TV series. Sometimes the things that I have been through were even worse than what the characters in the series, book, or game have endured, but still I find myself shedding tears.

Is it because I’ve become too tight-lipped about my personal life nowadays, and the ones who end up telling my story are the characters in the novel and the artists who sing what I’ve been bottling up inside? And in the end, all I can do is cry over my story being told as I listen to every song, as I read about how a book character faces challenges in life, as I watch relatives, lovers, and friends die in a game, and as I witness the idealistic happy endings in movies. Which is why the books and movies that instantly become my favorite are the ones that can actually make me bawl like a boss.

As I was writing this piece, I also came to a conclusion that I’ve always been fond of tears and crying per se. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a masochist bitch. Nor am I an emo or a suicidal. Anyway, I find tears fascinating. They’re there when you’re too happy, they’re there when you’re too sad – the extremes. At times they just come out of your eyes for a reason you don’t even know. Nevertheless, they make you feel better. It’s like every hardship, exhaustion fulfillment, and happiness you can’t merely express with words are conveyed with the simple act of crying. I find it beautiful. It makes a human, well, human. Tears can be a sign of weakness, it can be both a prelude and manifestation of something grand.

But what I like the most about it is that it heals… And can even thaw a frozen heart even for just a minute.

This video was shared to me by my good friend. As a kid who grew up playing and worshipping the Final Fantasy games, this video actually brought tears to my eyes.

We all know how majestic the Final Fantasy games are. The FF games have kick-ass stories, characters, game play, etc., that never fail to blow us away. But what sets the Final Fantasy games apart from others is the soundtrack. The music of the Final Fantasy games can totally make us so engaged into playing even more, gives life and soul to the game sequences, and offers a different gaming experience.

The first and last time I played Final Fantasy VIII was eight years ago when I was about 11 or 12 years old. And until now, whenever I hear, let’s say “Balamb Garden,” a wave of nostalgia floods my senses and takes me back to the time when I first put FFVIII in the PlayStation1.

And we owe that to the god that is Nobuo Uematsu (I need not write about who he is, just watch the video).

I remember writin my bucket list when I was in elementary school. Some of my most desired wishes were: “To Meet the Creators of Final Fantasy,” “To Meet Nobuo Uematsu,” and “To watch a Final Fantasy Orchestra Concert.”

And until now, I still hope for it to happen.

*Song playing: Let it go – Yuna Ito

For the past few months (?), I’ve been having some realizations about a lot of happenings in my life. And sometimes I can’t help but wonder and crack at the fucked up irony of life. I mean, don’t you? Also to the times when we think that this certain someone or something is what we need in life, but in the end, those who we have been ignoring are the ones that can really fill up our lives with so much color.

I’m a sentimental person. I don’t easily let go of things and people who have been a part of my life, whether long-term or not. As much as I can, I do my best to maintain good relations with these people even if we’ve naturally drifted apart. I’ve been doing that for years. And you know what? It gets tiring when the other won’t meet you halfway.

That’s the sad reality of life: You just naturally drift apart.

I learned it the hard way. I only realized it this year. Sometimes, you just have to let go. Let go and just cherish the memories sequestered in the bowels of your heart. And letting go actually feels good.

Having said that, I’m endorsing this anime titled “Five centimeters per second.” It’s a three-part OVA that will surely tug on your heart strings. If you didn’t get what I said about “naturally drifting apart” then you better watch this touching anime. Prepare to have tissue with you when you watch this!

It’s been a looooooooooooong time since I last posted about an event in the country. My last one, I think, was on the J-Pop Singing Contest way back in July. And to think that I attended a LOT of events after that like the annual KPOP FESTIVAL, Asian Expo 2011, etc. Thank god for sembreak, though, I get to post frequently now in wordpress.

So last November 5, as we fans from the J/K-Pop community know, was Hallyu Queen BoA Kwon’s 25th birthday. To celebrate our idol’s day and also to just see each other again, we, the official Philippine fan club of BoA (who are also members of BoAjjang – the international BoA fan forum), got together on that day and celebrated BoA’s birthday successfully.

The day started with Leni, Carlo, and I meeting up at Trinoma at around 12:30-1pm. As usual, we were at our usual tambayan — Tokyo Tokyo. When our stomachs have been filled with good food, we decided to check out the movie schedules since I really really wanted to watch on that day. I’ve been effing busy with a lot of stuff for the past months and the last film that I actually watched was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. K? K. But in the end, we didn’t watch any film at all. (We still love you, Carlo! Harhar.) So we headed off to Timezone for some J/K-Pop karaoke time. It’s sort of like… a fan thing. When fans get together for whatever reason, there will always be noraebang. Nuff said.

Unfortunately, the KY karaoke doesn’t have Japanese songs (it sucks). Only Leni can read Korean among us so she ended up singing the BoA and TVXQ songs that I entered

We are not leaving until Carlo sings

Kuya Raul joined us at about an hour later

After the noraebang, we went back to Tokyo Tokyo

And we did our tradition: FILE SHARING!

We then went to Edsa Shang to meet the other staff of BoA Philippines. Much to our surprise, Kuya Raul came with us! ‘Cause in the past, he doesn’t go to BoA PH gatherings, only in the BoAjjang ones.

Fast forwarding, we also met some of Ate Xandra and Kuya Jorge’s friends from the Korean Cultural Center.

Thanks for joining us!

BoA’s cake!

BoA’s most dedicated fans in the Philippines!

It was really realllllyyyy nice to see these friends again.  On the way home, though, some girl stole my two precious cellphones. But that’s a whole different story. Despite that, I had real fun. So whatever.

Saengil Chukha Hamnida, BoA!

P.S. 

BoA Philippines is a legit fan club. Most of us used to be the same people behind Shrine of BoA Philippines. Yes, the same ones who were in the previous KFESTs and KPOPCONs. Nuff said. Ja!

This morning, I checked the fandom and hey! There’s now a radio rip of L’Arc~en~Ciel’s new song “CHASE” <3 OMG. HAHA. I LOVE IT. It’s a Hyde & Ken song, of course it’s perfection! I’m excited to hear the b-side track of the single now! My Dear -L’Acoustic- babyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

CHASE details:

“CHASE”

On sale Wednesday December 21, 2011

[Limited First Edition Version]

CD+DVD KSCL 1906-1907

1,575JPY (tax in)

DVD “CHASE” Music Clip

[Standard Version]

CD KSCL 1908

1,223JPY (tax in)

Track listing

1.CHASE

2.My Dear -L’Acoustic version-

3.CHASE (hydeless version)

4.My Dear -L’Acoustic version- (hydeless version)

[CHASE]

Theme song for the film “Wild 7″

—

Also, the Facebook page of the band has been updated with the prices of the 20th L’Anniversary Lives DVDs slated for a December 28 release. EVIL PRICES I’m telling you. But this is L’Arc. I don’t say “no” to L’Arc so I’ll be broke this December because of their new single and also BoA’s.

“20th L’Anniversary LIVE -Complete Box-”

KSBL 6005-6008 19,800JPY (tax in)

“20th L’Anniversary LIVE -Day1-”

KSBL 6009-6010 7,980JPY (tax in)

“20th L’Anniversary LIVE -Day2-”

KSBL 6011-6012 7,980JPY (tax in)

–

AND NEW PHOTO OF COURSE!

Studio Albums:
1. DUNE (10th Anniversary Edition)
2. Tierra
3. heavenly
4. True
5. HEART (First Press Limited Edition)
6. ark (First Press Limited Edition)
7. ark (Regular Edition)
8. ark (15th L’Anniversary Expanded Edition CD+DVD)
9. ray (First Press Limited Edition Ver. A)
10. ray (First Press Limited Edition Ver. B)
12. Real
13. SMILE
14. AWAKE (Japan version)
15. AWAKE (Taiwan version)
16. KISS (First Press Limited Edition)

Compilation/Best-Of albums:
1. The Best of L’Arc~en~Ciel 1994-1998 (Japan version)
2. The Best of L’Arc~en~Ciel 1994-1998 (Taiwan version)
3. The Best of L’Arc~en~Ciel 1998-2000
4. Clicked Singles Best 13 (First Press Limited Edition)
5. Clicked Singles Best 13 (Regular Edition)
6. Quadrinity ~Members Best Selection~ (4CDs+DVD)(First Press Limited Edition)
7. TWENITY BOX (3CDs+DVD+Music Box+TWENITY Book)(First Press Limited Edition)

Singles:
1. Vivid Colors
2. winterfall
3. Dive to Blue
4. forbidden lover
5. shinshoku ~lose control~
6. snow drop
7. Heaven’s Drive (2 copies)
8. Pieces
9. NEO UNIVERSE/finale
10. Stay Away
11. Love Flies
13. Spirit Dreams Inside ~another dream~
14. LINK (CD+DVD)(First Press Limited Edition)
15. Seventh Heaven
16. My Heart Draws a Dream
17. Daybreak’s Bell
18. Hurry Xmas 2009 (CD+DVD)(First Press Limited Edition)
19. GOOD LUCK MY WAY
20. XXX (CD+DVD)(First Press Limited Edition)

DVDs:
1. SMILE Tour 2004
2. 15th L’Anniversary Live (First Press Limited Edition)
3. Light My Fire Again ~Are You Ready~ 2007
4. Theater of Kiss 2008 (First Press Limited Edition)
5. Live in Paris (First Press Limited Edition)
6. L’7 ~trans Asia via Paris~ (First Press Limited Edition)
7. Documentary Films: L’7 ~trans Asia via Paris~ (First Press Limited Edition)

VHS:
1. heavenly ~films~
2. and She Said
3. A Piece of Reincarnation
4. CHRONICLE
5. Light My Fire Tour ’98

I LOVE L’ARC~EN~CIEL. NEED I SAY MORE? <3 NOW I NEED THAT NEW SINGLE AND THEIR 20TH L’ANNIVERSARY DVDS WHICH ARE UNGODLY EXPENSIVE! >_<  

Today’s the 25th birthday of K-Pop and Hallyu Queen, BoA Kwon! <3 To those who have twitter accounts, if you have the heart or has been touched by any of BoA’s songs, feel free to greet her there! Her username is BoA_1105. And be sure to include these hashtags when you tweet: #Happy25thBoA #BoA25thBDay

Thank you! I hope BoA will enjoy her day! She’s been tweeting some lonely posts lately. BoA jjang! BoA hwaiting!

Celestine: Wala nang mas tataba pa sa’yo dito sa puso ko.

Kuya/Mother Aaron: Some daughters are born great, others are born to conquer. (Beautiful mother is proud. ♥)

Kenneth: Lara is one of the most trustworthy and loyal people I know. She’s been there since our first year in Baguio and I suspect she’ll still be there beyond college years.

Consider yourself lucky if she opens up with you. Love you, Pot!

Chris: One of the most die-hard fans of the FF series with a proud and kind heart. Love you second sister larah!

Luigi: Ayelle is fiercely loyal and protective. Love you Shaniqua!

Lora: I consider Ate Lara as my older sister and I love the fact that we share common hobbies & interests.

Revo: If you need a dedicated person, especially in fangirling, it has to be Lara.

Colleen: ‘Wag kakalimutan mag-bra ‘pag sa office na. Magpakatao na tayo. Labyu bichesa!

Elai: Laralabs, ikaw ang kakampi ko sa panlalait, pambibitch at pagmamalandi. Mamimiss kita sobra. Labyuuu.

Shy <3: A woman between simplicity and perfection. You’ll surely love her.

Tricia: Di kumpleto college life sa UPB kung (di) magsusuot ng belt at bra. Labyu Partner!

Memeng: Lara is love. Lara is awesome. Lara is real-iable. Lara is an angel. I love you Lara!

Gail: A sweet, caring, beautiful girl inside and out. Just don’t mess with her friends.

Joshie: Lara is the bubbliest Journmate and most down-to-earth person I have ever known. She is addicted to pink, a fangirl, and knows how to share. To her, I feel like family because “nobody gets left behind.”

Kent: This fangirl is hard and fierce, but definitely 100% sweet.

Kuya Francis: Every adventure with Lara is worth remembering… Ah yes, and the things she can do for her friends are just amazing.

Hihi. Thanks guys!

In other news, the PV preview for Gackt’s upcoming single “Graffiti” is already out! Check it out below!

Credits to BoAjjang’s Uni for the video.