Empty Tears

Songs on repeat one: Hear Me Cry – Cagnet; Someone Like You (Adele Cover) – BoA; empty tears – tetsu69 

Tonight I just finished reading “My Sister’s Keeper,” which like all the other books I’ve read, had me bawling my eyes out. Then I asked myself what is it with media that can trigger my tear glands?

You will hardly ever see me cry, unless you were a part of my elementary and early high school days, unless you are with me when I watch some tear-jerking live performance, or unless you have met the Lara whose heart still wasn’t at least half-frozen. Having said that, I just wonder why my tears become shallow whenever I read a novel or a fanfiction, play a role-playing game, listen to music, or merely watch a movie or TV series. Sometimes the things that I have been through were even worse than what the characters in the series, book, or game have endured, but still I find myself shedding tears.

Is it because I’ve become too tight-lipped about my personal life nowadays, and the ones who end up telling my story are the characters in the novel and the artists who sing what I’ve been bottling up inside? And in the end, all I can do is cry over my story being told as I listen to every song, as I read about how a book character faces challenges in life, as I watch relatives, lovers, and friends die in a game, and as I witness the idealistic happy endings in movies. Which is why the books and movies that instantly become my favorite are the ones that can actually make me bawl like a boss.

As I was writing this piece, I also came to a conclusion that I’ve always been fond of tears and crying per se. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a masochist bitch. Nor am I an emo or a suicidal. Anyway, I find tears fascinating. They’re there when you’re too happy, they’re there when you’re too sad – the extremes. At times they just come out of your eyes for a reason you don’t even know. Nevertheless, they make you feel better. It’s like every hardship, exhaustion fulfillment, and happiness you can’t merely express with words are conveyed with the simple act of crying. I find it beautiful. It makes a human, well, human. Tears can be a sign of weakness, it can be both a prelude and manifestation of something grand.

But what I like the most about it is that it heals… And can even thaw a frozen heart even for just a minute.

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